How to Write Personal Wedding Vows
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If your reading this, you’ve probably read our Traditional vs Personal Vows guide and have decided on the Personal Vows option. As exciting as it is, it can also seem daunting; many brides and grooms suffer from writer's block when it comes to writing their vows. To get you started, we wanted to share these helpful tips on how to get started writing your personal vows.
DON’T PROCRASTINATE
Don’t wait till the last minute to write your vows. As “spontaneous'“ as it may seem to write them on your way to the ceremony, your vows are a lifelong promise and probably something you wont want to just “throw together last minute”. Take the time to reflect on what you want to say and get your thoughts on paper. Go through a few drafts to ensure the final draft is perfect. Having put the appropriate amount of time into this ensures you say everything you want to say in those impactful way possible.
CONSIDER IT A LOVE LETTER
In the end, your personal vows are not only promises to each other about the future, but also a love letter to your spouse. Writing a love letter is a perfect opportunity for you to open up and be transparent about your love for your spouse. Let your emotions flow onto each sheet of paper. These words are an extension of you and your deep feelings for your spouse.
HANDWRITTEN VOWS
Don’t just write your vows on a piece of notebook paper. Consider a wedding vow book that you can purchase to handwrite your vows. These sweet booklets look fantastic in photos and are wonderful keepsakes that you will cherish for a lifetime.
TIME CONSTRAINTS
Consider trying keep your personal vows to 2-4 minutes. When you set a time limit, you find clarity about the message you want get across. This helps avoid redundancy and makes each sentence much more impactful. This is also perfect time constraint for the ceremony and your guests’ attention span.
REFLECT ON YOUR PAST, ELECTRIFY YOUR FUTURE
Your love is a culmination of countless moments, experiences and memories that have molded your relationship into what it is today. It’s also a foundation for who you will be in the future and the life you have envisioned together. All of these are reasons why you are getting married. Take inspiration from this and use it to craft your vow.
Your Past: Looking Back on Your Love Story
1. What was your first impression of your partner? To spark your memory, revisit the early days of your relationship through old pictures, love notes, etc.
2. What's a favorite memory you have together?
3. Think of a time your partner put your happiness first.
4. Think back to the moment you knew you wanted to spend your life with your partner. Describe every detail surrounding that moment and how you felt when you realized it.
5. Think about previous accomplishments you have achieved together and how that makes you feel.
Your Future: Looking Forward to Your Marriage
6. Close your eyes and picture the two of you together in 5 years, 10 years, 30 years. What does your marriage look like?
7. What are some things you can do (emotionally, mentally, physically) to ensure you reach these milestones together?
8. How will you strive to be the best version of yourself in your marriage?
Finally, what are some of the words that come to mind when you think about what makes your relationship work
Trust | Partnership | Challenges | Lucky | Laughter | Growth | Safety | Adoration | Dreams | Sharing | Faith | Soulmate | Family | Best Friend
VULNERABILITY IS A VIRTUE
This is your time to be vulnerable. Your ceremony (and your wedding on the whole) is a space free of judgment, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Even if you aren't the overly sentimental, romantic type, surprise your partner with sensitive touches to your vows that make them feel unique from any other time you've professed your affection.
